Sunday, April 8, 2012

Samantha Brick Thinks SHE Has Problems

Women hate me because I am beautiful.  That's what she said, that's what she wrote and that's what she spent the last week defending on American television as well as in England.  Women hate her because her beauty threatens them in some way.  In fact, her beauty is such a burden that she is often stopped on the street by strangers wanting to give her gifts http:/ has taken a lot of flack about this article, been called narcissistic - a new and useful buzz word, and generally snickered at by millions of women worldwide who have looked at her and thought, "She's attractive, but beauty beyond words?  No."

I sympathize with her.  I really do.  You see, I suffer from a similar affliction.  I have been graced with, well, fabulous fingernails.  I have long nail beds, which means that even at the difficult times when my nails are short, they look long, luxurious even.  I can't tell you the number of times I am stopped in the checkout line of Target by the clerk who comments on their beauty.  I am always gracious but does she not know the torment this causes the others waiting in line?  Not only do they not possess the blessing of the nails, they are now forced to wait while she stops the line to fawn over my hand.  I can feel daggers shooting from their eyes and I want them to know I feel their pain.  They'll never believe me.  I'm sure they think I have it easy when the truth is, my fingernails are a burden.  I can't quickly and easy pick up the odd coin that is laying on the sidewalk.  I struggle with buttons which puts an insurmountable barrier on my wardrobe choices,  a dilemma I find discriminatory.  And my greatest burden is the moral obligation I feel to those less fortunate when they present their backs to me, suffering, begging.  I must heed the call and so, I scratch.

All of those jealous people who scorn my nails and sneer at my perfect manicures with the mistaken belief that I can't possibly expose them to any harsh work conditions - try this one for size.  My chosen work puts my nails at risk every single day posing great challenges to my work product.  I write.  The words in my head flow forth to my fingers that fly over my keyboard but sometimes those nails slide off the keys, the message gets muddled and it looks like this:

Dobn;t hate me because my fibfer nas are beautifyl.

All of that creates EXTRA work for me and less time to scratch the backs of others.  And the girl with the stunningly beautiful face thinks she has problems.

Coltman is the author of two books. Is It Just Me? or Is Everyone a Little Nuts! is a humor book based on her blog. Her most recent book, In The Name Of The Father, is a suspense/thriller that reviewers have called a true page-turner. Both books are available through amazon and Coltman's own website.