I Must Be Easy. . .or am I Just a Cheap Date?

Summer Splash Blog Hop, Day. . . .Something.  I am giving away signed copies of my book along with a necklace and the last copy of Beach Feasts; a recipe collection.  You can enter every day.  Just follow the Rafflecopter directions at right.  See other authors doing giveaways.  I will post their links below.

I Must Be Easy. . .Or Am I Just a Cheap Date?

I slept in as late as I could on the day of my colonoscopy.  What was the point of getting up if I couldn't enjoy my coffee with half 'n half or my toast and fruit?  They tell you not to arrive more than 15 minutes ahead of your appointment saying there is no point because you will just wait.  I think it's because they only have one restroom in the waiting area.  Let's face it, everyone who arrives there is either forcing out the last of the laxative or worried they will.  One restroom for all of those people is a cruel joke.  Lucky for me, I was clean as a whistle before I got there.

They happily guided me back to my gurney and asked if I was currently pregnant.  Uh, no.  Have I completed menopause?  Uh, no.  "Then," she says, "I need to do a pregnancy test on you.  Can you give me a urine sample?" Let me just remind you that I have spent the better part of the last 24 hours eliminating any excess matter, solid and liquid, that lurked in my body and she tells me we can't proceed until she runs a pregnancy test.  Sheesh.

Here's where the good part comes in.  They give you some drugs, really nice drugs.  Drugs like you have a great buzz and just love everybody drugs.  The last thing I remember is the nurse coming in to tell me I wasn't pregnant.  Oh Glory be. . .now we can do the colonoscopy.  So they wheel me down the hall to a dimly lit room and the Dr. comes in to introduce himself - appropriate given how intimate we are about to become.  He asks if I have any questions and the only thing I can think to say is, "I feel like you should, at least, buy me dinner first."  I'll bet her never hears that.

That must be when they cranked up the IV because I do not remember anything after that until Moondoggy came in and asked if I was ever tempted to go toward the light.  So, I'm good for another 10 years and can now give the knowing nod and wink when other newly 50 people realize it's time for their colonoscopy.

Hop over to these authors' blogs.

Diana Layne
Mike Faricy
Victoria Adams
Jason G. Anderson
S.L. Wallace
Charles Sheehan-Miles
M.J. Holmes
Lynn Hubbard
Jordan T. Maxwell
Jillian Dodd
Chrystalla Thoma
Elle Chardou
Dana Sitar
Troy McCombs

Summer Splash Blog Hop - Quick and Easy

Ever have a day when you don't have much to say?  I'm having one of those days.  However, being that it is the official Summer Splash Blog Hop season, I urge you to visit the following authors.  They are giving away great prize opportunities just for visiting.  Not to mention, if you click on the blog hop logo at right, you can enter to win Kindle Fires, Amazon gift cards and other great swag.  AND, as always, enter my own contest at right.  It only takes a second.

Melissa A. Smith
Steven Montano
Ty Hutchinson
M.A. Demers
Beverly Preston
Marie J.S. Phillips
Marie J.S. Phillips
Alicia and Roy Street
Laura Eno

File It Under "Things Mother Never Told You"

Blog Hop Day 3.  Sign up to win signed copies of my books.  Just fill out the Rafflecopter at right.  

Several years ago ( ok, over a decade ago but who is counting?), I put together a recipe collection of meals my family has enjoyed while vacationing at Sandbridge Beach.  I had everyone contribute their favorite recipes and, along with my anecdotes, and pictures, compiled them into a book.  There is only one copy remaining-- the prototype, and I am offering this personal book as a prize on my blog.  So. . . enter in the rafflecopter box at right.  YOU might win this coveted (and sometimes embarrassing) keepsake!

File It Under "Things Mother Never Told You" - UGH

It's a secret right of passage not discussed in circles of those under 49.  It is the inside joke that comes with a nod and a wink as one approaches 50.  It is the colonoscopy and it is my turn.  Hunger Games be damned, we ALL are encouraged to participate when we turn 50.  Which I did. . .last year.  I have been putting this off for as long as I can but, I am coming in under the wire.

It isn't just a matter of scheduling and showing up either.  No, there is a required CLASS first. Yes, a class that they like to have you take about a week in advance. I arrived at the appointed time and along with 10 other equally jittery people, was lead to through the bowels of the building to the classroom.  I have to think the irony is totally intestinal. . . I mean intentional.

We are seated at tables in front of a large tv and greeted by a nurse who hands us each several pages of questions and releases.  The class will last, she tells us,  about an hour where we will fill out our paperwork, discuss the prep and see a movie.  When it is over, we will have the opportunity to purchase a prep kit there for $7.  I'm thinking, "Nice Scam."

She gives us a few moments to  answer the questionnaire.  First question; Name your next of kin.  Really?  Then, with an unbridled enthusiasm, she describes, step-by-step, the "Prep".  This is a 3 day process that begins with no fruits and vegetables - not a great start for a former vegetarian.  Day 2 is the tougher day.  No food.  Nothing with red dye (it tends to present as blood.)  Only clear liquids, jellos (again, no red dye which includes the only jello I eat) and Popsicles (again, guess which ones I like).  If that isn't bad enough, you must take a heavy duty laxative pill the afternoon before the test, down a delicious bottle of lemon flavored magnesium citrate and force Gatorade all night long. Kind of wished I 'd've scheduled an early morning appointment.  I'm out of eating options until the afternoon. Sigh.   Perhaps they need the next of kin information so they know who to call when I decide not to show up.

Oh stop it!  I'm going to show up. I bought the $7 prep kit on my way out the door.

Win other great prizes from these authors.  Just click on the name and go!
Lizzy Ford
Marsha A. Moore
Dana Taylor
Mary Pat Hyland
Katrina Parker Williams
Karin Cox
Walt Lamberg

Other People's Swag

Day Two of the Summer Splash Blog Hop! 

Several years ago ( ok, over a decade ago but who is counting?), I put together a recipe collection of meals my family has enjoyed while vacationing at Sandbridge Beach.  I had everyone contribute their favorite recipes and, along with my anecdotes, and pictures, compiled them into a book.  There is only one copy remaining-- the prototype, and I am offering this personal book as a prize on my blog.  So. . . enter in the rafflecopter box at right.  YOU might win this coveted (and sometimes embarrassing) keepsake!


 A swag bag of stuff, a book mark and a whole series of books is available from Olivia Hardin.
THE eBook of YOUR CHOICE is available through R.G. Porter.
Marsha A. Moore if offering her whole series from the Enchanted Bookstore Legends!  A whole series!
A $25 Amazon gift card and an ebook copy of his latest biomed thriller?  Just leave a comment on Alan Nayes blog.  
Cheryl Bradshaw is giving away five boxed sets of her Sloane Monroe series.  PLUS - gourmet cookies and chocolate.
Julia Crane has a Young Adult series and is giving away copies on her blog.  AND, you may even win a Moonstone necklace.
If you enjoy fantasy, check out M. Edward McNally.  He is giving ebook editions of his series.  Simply go to his blog and leave a comment!
It gets better (I KNOW, hard to believe, right?)  G.R. Yeates is not only giving away his series, he is offering the opportunity to choose a title or have a character named after you.
Her blog is called "License to Thrill" and she has written some great books. Diana Capri is offering up a ton of books!  Several sets as well as 3 opportunities to name characters.  
Guardians of the Word, an epic fantasy series is available from Jolea M. Harrison but, even cooler. . .she is giving away a few Dragon Orb necklaces and a dragon statue.  
PLEASE TELL THEM JUDI COLTMAN SENT YOU!
Don't forget to take all of the opportunities to win my prized as well.  Just fill out the Rafflecopter form on the right.  EASY!
Stop back often to see what other fabulous authors are hoping you will hop into the waves and splash a little!  

The Summer Splash Blog Hop Asks. . . Who is Christian Grey Anyway?

SUMMER SPLASH BLOG HOP

This is your chance to win LOTS of prizes.  Enter my own giveaway at right through Rafflecopter.  Click on the Summer Splash Blog Hop tour at the right and it will take you to 80 other authors doing their own giveaways AND the home page where you can win Grand Prizes!  Seriously, check it out!!

Now on to the the question. . . who is Christian Grey?

There is a very good possibility that I am the only woman left in the country who has not read The Fifty Shades of Grey.  That is not to say that I haven't heard all about it, couldn't identify the cover at 200 paces or that I am unaware of the draw of Christian Grey.  I have been led to believe that the book is a woman's best friend.  I figure the draw is the tantalizing sex, right?  And E.L James' books are flying off the shelves.  Far be if for me to criticize that!

It got me to thinking though, why THAT book does so well and MY book (In The Name of The Father) which also has some sex (albiet not a driving theme and not gratuitous. . .I don't think) had garnered some 1 star reviews because of the sex.  Seriously.  I even have a warning in the description that there is some adult content involving drug use and sex and yet I still get comments like this:

"read reviews and thought I would enjoy it. I was not prepared for the second chapter filled with drugs, graphic sex and "f" words. I do not plan to finish it. There are too many other books that I want to read that won't involve having to skim over words or descriptions I don't want to read."

I checked the reviews for "Fifty Shades"and it has its fair share of stars across the board.  I figure it would be listed under erotica, but was surprised to find it was categorized as Contemporary Women. Hmmm.  I was pretty sure mine was listed in Mystery/Thriller. . . until I checked.  Religious Fiction?  Uh, oh.  Maybe that's the issue.  Yes, the main characters are a pastor and his son.  Yes, the pivotal point takes place in a church, but religious fiction?  No.  Think I'm going to put it under Contemporary Women, that seems to be working for E.L James!

Summer Splash Blog Hop - I Just May Throw My Back Out

Next week, this old girl is going to participate in her  first blog hop! There will be over 80 authors participating offering unique prizes to all who visit their blogs next week.

What is a blog hop, you ask?

Good question!  The idea is to introduce readers to new writers AND to offer an avenue where writers can tell you a bit about their books.  The hook?  PRIZES!!  Each blogger is offering their own choice of prizes, some related to their books, some services, some just fun.  Not only that, we all pooled in some cash to offer some BIG GRAND PRIZES, too.  

Prizes, you ask?

Many authors are offering up copies of their books in both ebook as well as paperback.  The themes of this Summer Splash Blog Hop is fiction.  That means there will be tons of opportunities to win some summer reading. 

I’ll be running a raffle to give away:

• 1 handmade necklace with pendant of ocean blue stones.
• 1 signed copy of In The Name of The Father
• 1 signed copy of Is It Just Me? or Is Everyone a Little Nuts!
• 1 copy (the only remaining) of  Beach Feasts, a personal recipe collection based on my summers at the beach.  This is the same beach that is the setting for In The Name of The Father

Hello?  Didn't You Say GRAND PRIZES?

Oh yeah.   I'll link back to the Summer Splash Blog Hop page where you’ll be able to enter to WIN

• A Kindle Fire
• Amazon gift cards,
• Kindle Covers
• and more!

This starts next week.  Just look for the logo at the right and it will get you hoppin'

A shout out to Cheryl Bradshaw for organizing the hop! It has got to be a load of  work, and without her this would never happen!  Thank you, Cheryl!

Is It A Game Of Leap Frog?

I'm pretty good with a computer.  I know how to do in-depth research, bury an identity, create graphics and hey, create and post on a blog.  I am, however, a right-brained thinker, therefore, I do not speak the techno language that goes with the computer world. I don't understand HTML code or Javascript nor do I know how to imbed.  I am a Mac girl.  I have always been a Mac girl (with the unfortunate exception of the 90's when I had to use Windows - archaic and unsatisfying) and I always will be a Mac girl.

My first computer greeted me with a stick image of itself and a smiley face on it's stick image screen to let me know it was on and ready to play.  I didn't have to know know about directories or C prompts.  I could just do what I wanted to do without elaborate commands.  Ahhh the good ol days.

In about two weeks I am participating in something called a "Blog Hop".  I'm not really sure exactly HOW it all works but, I know that I make a post, host a giveaway on my blog and "link it back to all the other bloggers" participating in the "hop".  There will be some really cool grand prizes as well.  I'm not sure, but I THINK if my readers click on the Summer Splash Blog Hop logo at the right, it SHOULD "link back" to the others, thereby giving people the opportunity to win lots of prizes.

All of this is new to me. It requires vocabulary I never use but, I'm giving it a whirl and hope, when the time comes, this all works as it should.  Otherwise, I guess a Blog Hop is where a bunch of writer's get together and play a long distance game of Leap Frog from one computer to the next.

Oh and I am not sure what I am offering yet. . . but I'll let you know. ; )

STAY TUNED FOR THE  SUMMER SPLASH BLOG HOP!