Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Playing Eighteen


I had the pleasure of spending last week with my sister who makes me laugh until I am crying, hacking and peeing.  Amongst our laughing this week, came this gem of a story. I so wish I could take credit for it, but this bit of genius goes out to her friend, Annie.

My sister Betsy’s good friend, Annie and her husband, Mark, had come up to Traverse City for their annual “Up North” vacation.  On one of those days, the tradition is for Annie and Betsy to spend a day at the pool lounging.  That’s what they do.  So, a few days before their rondevouz, Betsy received a text from Annie:

WTF??? I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HAVE THE NERVE.  AAAAGGGHHHHH!

Betsy replied: OMG!  What’s wrong?

Annie responded: THEY WANT TO PLAY GOLF SATURDAY

Betsy:  That’s great - clears the way for us to sit by the pool.

Annie:  THAT’S NOT THE POINT.  TELL YOU WHEN I SEE YOU.

The all caps should signal that Annie was PISSED!

When Betsy and Annie finally hooked up that Saturday, Annie shared the following story. Please picture a small, dark haired fireball with a slight yiddish lilt.

“So, we were sitting with Mike and Patty the other night at The Lake Inn having a nice dinner -  broiled fish, light but still filling.  Anyway, they start talking about playing golf.  The good courses, the difficult courses, their best and worst shots.  Well, anyone who knows me KNOWS I loathe golf.  Don’t play, don’t watch, don’t care so I checked out. But these three people, unbeknownst to me, had the NERVE to make a golf date for the FOUR OF US on our last Saturday of vacation without even asking me if I wanted to join them.

So Mike and Patty showed up today about an hour before Tee time and I announced that I would not be joining them for the game.

There was silence.  Blank stares.

Patty asked, ‘Why not?’  So I pasted a big ass smile on my face and reminded her, I dont play golf, I don’t watch golf and I don’t like golf.  To which Mark and Mike both said they thought I could drive the cart and watch. AND WATCH!? Doesn’t that sound fun?

I told them I would happily meet them for dinner but would not be going out on the course with them.  Golfing was not something I wanted to do.

Silence. More blank stares.

So I said. ‘Let me put it in terms you might understand.  Lets say all four of us go to the Grand Traverse Mall.  Shopping, now that’s something I enjoy doing. We can go to eighteen different stores where I can search for an incredible outfit. . .one in each store.  Then, I’ll go try it on while you guys watch.  You can clap for me when I come out of the dressing room and model for you.  Doesn’t that sound fun?

Silence.

Mark finally spoke, ‘Tell Betsy I say hi!’ and he lead the golfing group out the door.”

Point made.

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